NEW DRUG CURES INDEPENDENT THOUGHT

Short comedy radio ad for fake drug COMPLYACIN that cures children of independent thought, creativity and talking about Ron Paul.

Written by Neema Vedadi, Michael W. Dean and Debra Jean Dean. Voices: Debra Jean Dean and Michael W. Dean. Engineered by Michael W. Dean. Music: “I Own Me” by Neema V., “Morning Mood” by Edvard Grieg.

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15 thoughts on “NEW DRUG CURES INDEPENDENT THOUGHT”

  1. In low doses, and with sporadic use, scopolamine was great to counter nausea, anxiety, and a number of minor ills. The main source of this drug were simply extracted from just about any member of the nightshade family, from spuds, tomatoes, and eggplants on up to Datura Stramonium/Indica. Dirt cheap in other words.

    Over a certain threshold, and people get wacky and start seeing into hyperspace, or whatever term you want to use for happy paranormal land. Which is why it wasn’t much of a truth serum. They might tell the truth, the lottery number for the next six weeks, and whatever else the demon Astaroth was whispering in their ear. Good luck sorting it out :D

    So they gave up on it for nausea and switched to diphehydramine. Kids can still dose on that and get wacky, but they don’t end up in psych wards for months if they eat a handful of pills. ;)

  2. So basically the drug combos that enable interrogation, organ theft and/or date rape would make a public education work better? Sounds about right.

    Should make a variant for people going through “pat downs” at the airport, too.

    MWD

  3. The classic drugs used for the Haitian zombie drug, scopolamine, and tetrodotoxin would need to be re-engineered as other isomers or analogs to be patentable for this type of use. Or they could just use standard risperidol if they didn’t mind 30-50% developing parkinsonisms, extra-pyramidial side effects, drooling, diabetes, or various other issues. I think they reworked the drug 2-3 times to extend the patent, so it would still end up costing roughly $6-8k per head every year. Which pretty well doubles the cost of education. Might as well hire real teachers for that cost. :D

    My personal choice would be Piracetam, a low dose of scopolamine, and the 4 amphetamine salts found in adderall. You couldn’t use it long term because of the scopolamine, but you would be able to focus very well, able to create, and would be buzzed enough not to care about mindlessly following rules. Perfect for students starting to feel their lives turning into Groundhog Day, or unable to sort out an advanced math/physics/organic chem class.

  4. My son’s grade school principal would’ve loved the stuff. The first time he wanted us to put our kid on Rytalin we said no. The second time we said NO! The third time ended with one very apprehensive elementary school principal backed up against a wall and one very pissed off father (me) explaining to him in no uncertain terms that if he uttered any reference to my son being on mind numbing drugs in my presence again it was going to be HIS mind that got numbed and it wasn’t gonna be a pill that numbed it. He must’ve believed me. We never heard any more about it, our son never took zombie drugs, and recently graduated with his mind intact.

  5. We had a list of ‘em, but that’s such a cliche, and also it was already running long. But yes, anal leakage was one of ‘em.

    MWD

  6. So I have got to ask this. What are the side effects? If it doesn’t involve anal leakage I am all for it. ^00^
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  7. Debra Jean has a beautiful voice! Love the fake commercial. Unfortunately, I see many parents who want a pill to make their children compliant to an unnatural system.

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