The Freedom Feens use some terms on the cast that either they made up or are not in common usage. They do define these terms at least once in the cast in some episode, but if you’re new to the cast, here’s a glossary. It will be expanded with time. If we use a term you don’t understand, please comment below so we can add it here.
Photoshop illustrations by Crazy Rich. (Except Beastlick, THE AGGRESSION PRINCIPLE, Cats Must Flow, and Gear Porn image by MWD, Roooooooads zombie by MikeMakesRight, and Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption image by Trevorus.)
AIR WORM 1 = The imaginary blimp that Michael broadcasts from. Is usually located above Beastlick, Wyoming.
THE AGGRESSION PRINCIPLE = That old libertarianism 101 thing: “All laws and taxes are enforced by the threat of a gun: If you refuse to pay a tax, men will come to your house. If you send them away, they’ll return with men with guns. If you tell those men to go away, they’ll kick in your door, put a gun to your head, and take you away to a cage” It’s what drives all government actions, in all nations, throughout history.
MWD says “Read Lysander Spooner’s 1867 essay No Treason for the original long-form description of The Aggression Principle. I decided to call it ” The Aggression Principle”, because it’s the opposite of the Non-Aggression Principle. I think The Aggression Principle and the Non-Aggression Principle are all one needs to teach someone, and have them understand, to be a libertarian in three minutes.
The short form, modern telling of the principle came from Edward Abbey.
AK or simply K = AK-47 rifle. AKs are under 500 bucks. Anyone who has a flat-screen TV but not an AK has their priorities wrong. The Feens also say “A.K.” instead of “O.K.”
The AK Dance = A celebration common in the Middle East whereby a crowd of people bounce on the ground in semi-unison, sing, yell, point their AK-47 rifles into the air and sporadically fire their AKs into the air.
AMERICA OF THE MIND = Michael’s name for the rose-colored-glasses vision many people, especially older conservatives, have of an America that never was, but that they want to “get back to” for some reason. It has been pinpointed by the Feens to be either around 1776, or around the time the show Leave it to Beaver was supposed to take place (post-war, but before the civil rights movement and the hippies. Approx 1946-1962). Michael based the term on Michael Silverblatt‘s term “a Brooklyn of the mind”, in Michael’s movie Hubert Selby Jr: It/ll Be Better Tomorrow. Silverblatt was talking about Selby’s novel Last Exit to Brooklyn, and said “I asked Selby once ‘where IS this Brooklyn?’ Because I grew up in Brooklyn and it wasn’t a Brooklyn I recognized.”
Anarchist = Contrary to some people’s beliefs, this does not mean a violent person who wants blood in the streets. It means a peaceful person who does not believe in any government. Michael and Neema are libertarians as well as anarchists. They are AnCaps i.e. anarcho-capitalists, NOT leftist anarchists.
Beastlick, Wyoming = The Feens’ version of “Bumfuck, Egypt.”
Blockstrian Economists = A term Bitcoined by Neema Vedadi for Austrian economists who understand the revolutionary significance of the blockchain. Those who practice Blockstrian Economics.
Blood Dance (or “doing the blood dance”) = Mike Vanderboegh‘s term for the shameful display of faux-heartfelt b.s. that the mainstream media partake in whenever there’s a mass killing. Includes: sticking a camera in the face of grieving relatives to get a soundbite, trotting out photos of dead children, interviewing people who met the killer once ten years ago, interviewing crying politicians who also murder children, calling for gun control that will not stop madmen and will only harm honest people, getting facts wrong in the rush to have the “scoop”, and generally being ass clowns to increase ratings.
Bomb = Michael’s old band that started in 1986 and broke up in 1993. Bomb was popular in the underground punk scene, toured the world, did three records on indie labels, one record on Warner/Reprise, then imploded. Here’s some Bomb music. Here’s a live video.
Boring = a synonym for “square.” “Boring” is something the Feens call statists.
Boston = Boston T. Party, a minarchist libertarian author and founder of Free State Wyoming who has been a big influence on both Michael and Neema. Very smart guy. He strongly advocates that libertarians need to own guns (particularly rifles) for self-defense or they’re just using words, and you cannot protect your property rights with mere words.
Cats Must Flow = a reference to the saying “Spice Must Flow” in the book/movie Dune. “Cats Must Flow”, when said by the Feens, has two meanings: 1. Cats don’t like closed doors. 2. Truly free trade is the only real trade. And most people (especially politicians) who say they like “free trade” really don’t. A government always wants to tax and regulate something, and you cannot have truly free trade with any taxes or regulation.
Central Scrutinizer = Any government’s attempt to spy on its subjects’ private communication, whether by Internet, phone, or meeting on the street. Is a take-off from a Frank Zappa riff where between songs on a record, he whispered and imitated someone called “The Central Scrutinizer” – a personification of the people who wanted to censor Frank’s records. (And later he did a song called The Central Scrutinizer, listen here.) Our use of “The Central Scrutinizer” is to represent the entire state mechanism of immoral spying on, and censorship of, citizens, but personified as if it’s one person whose full-time job is spying on the Freedom Feens, and listeners of the Feens.
Christian Sharia = Term Michael and Neema invented for the policies of some Christian conservatives who claim they’re for “small government” and claim they respect the Constitution, but also want to pass a bunch of silly laws that violate the Constitution and increase the size of government. Includes most members of what is commonly called “the Tea Party.” Michele Bachman, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, Rick Perry, Bill O’Reilly and Sarah Palin practice Christian Sharia, and are Christian Sharians. Ron Paul is a Christian who does NOT practice Christian Sharia and is therefore not a Christian Sharian. Other Christians who are NOT Christian Sharians include Judge Andrew Napolitano, Sheriff Richard Mack, and Boston T. Party. Michael and Neema invented the term Christian Sharia in 2010. In 2012 it was first used in the lamestream media, on CNN, here. As of 9/9/2012 the Feens have retired using this term, as it’s insulting to both Christians and Islam, it’s inaccurate, and a gross generalization. We now call it “religious statism.”
Chromed Robot Turd = Any mobile device or smart phone that people use to listen to the Freedom Feens.
Cantwellian = An obsessive need to see your name in print, or hear it spoken, regardless of the context. Named after low-self-esteem huge-ego troll Chris Cantwell.
Complyacin = Michael’s name for an imaginary pharmaceutical drug for “treating” the “recognized” “illness”, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (a.k.a. “Libertarian Flu” or “Libertitis” i.e. “Inflammation Of The Liberty.”) Complyacin would likely be Ritalin mixed with Thorazine. (Thorazine is known as “the chemical straight jacket” and “the chemical lobotomy.”)
(click for Constitution Humper image, must be of legal age and not easily offended)
Constitution Humper = Someone who thinks the Constitution of the United States is handed down from God and is infallible. Also anyone who thinks that documents grant rights. Both ideas ignore the fact that the Constitution allows government, taxation, tyranny, and is a social contract that you did not sign. (See also THE CONSTITUTION IS WRITTEN ON SHEEP.)
THE CONSTITUTION IS WRITTEN ON SHEEP = There is a misnomer that the US Constitution is written on hemp paper. Drafts of it were, but according to the US Federal Government’s site Archive.gov, “The five pages of the U.S. Constitution as well as the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, and the Articles of Confederation are written on parchment.” Michael Dean points out that: Parchment is the treated skin of a sheep. So, the US Constitution is literally written on sheep. This is the basis of the Feens button “By sheep, for sheep, on sheep.”
Crazy Cat Spot = A place most cats have on their body (usually on the spine, near the tail) where if you you scratch them lightly with their finger, they will begin to involuntarily lick the air. (Video here.) We read somewhere “It’s a means for mother cats to get their kittens to nurse; by licking a kitten at that point above the tail, it encourages them to go for the nipple.” Michael and Neema use “The Crazy Cat Spot” as an analogy for how statists will allow any intrusion on everyone’s liberties if it’s presented under the guise of “safety” or “think of the children!”….The mere mention of “safety” stimulates the statists’ “crazy cat spot.”
Dad Spam = Forwarded crap that old people who can barely use a computer e-mail to everyone they know.
Usual topics include: “Heartfelt letter from a dying Marine”, “Proof that Obama is a secret Muslim”, “Things we said in 1955”, and “DANGER! YOU MIGHT DIE IF ________!!!!!!!!” (Those are easily debunked by a quick look at Snopes.com.)
Dad Spam is easy to spot, it usually contains lots of capital letters and exclamation points, and rows and rows of >>>>>>>>>>>>> marks from being forwarded again and again by people who don’t know that you can remove those marks.
And it’s always CCed to everyone, never BCCed.
Dad Spam is usually sent from an AOL or Yahoo account.
DJ coined the phrase “Dad Spam.”
Dean’s Law of Building Dynamics: “The amount of freedom in a region is inversely proportionate to the height of the tallest building in that region.”
Dinosaur Chewing Its Tail = Analogy Michael came up with to describe the utter inefficiency of all governments. Based on something he read as a kid about how “dinosaurs had such disparate brain weight to body weight ratios, and were so stupid, that they could be chewing on their tail and not know it.”
DJ = Michael’s wife
EverHawk = A politician who always wants to be at war. (Especially one who avoided military service himself.) Neema came up with this on the spot during a live show.
FedGoons = Any armed federal agent who oppresses people for violating nanny laws. Also known as “FLEAs” (Federal Law Enforcement Agents.)
Fish and Hawgs (a.k.a The Department of Fish and Hawgs) = The Feens’ name for any government bureaucrats who are in charge of hassling people for fishing, hunting, shooting, camping, farming or any animal or land use, public or private. Works regardless of whether those bureaucrats are UN, federal, state, county, or local. Fish and Hawgs is a.k.a “Department of Fish and Game”, “Department of Game and Fish”, BLM, EPA, etc. etc. We think Lousander Feen probably came up with the name.
Freedom Fix = A recurring segment where Michael and Neema talk about something in the news that is good and advances freedom. The opposite of a “Tyranny Today.”
Freedom of Ingestion = Neema’s phrase for something he believes that Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin would have absolutely put in one form or another into the Bill of Rights if they had a crystal ball to see where their “Republic” had ended up today, and where it’s headed from here. Freedom of Ingestion would basically be the right to put anything you like into your body, or not put anything you don’t want, into your body. “Freedom of Ingestion” is also the name of a song Neema and Michael wrote and recorded for the Guns and Weed movie.
Feen = Fiend, in street speak or little kid speak. ”Hello freedom feens….” is the first line in one of the songs Neema and Michael wrote for the “Guns and Weed” movie. That’s where the name of the show comes from.
Feensourcing = Neema’s word for crowdsourcing by the Freedom Feens fans. Examples include helping with ideas, making T-shirts and uploading episodes to YouTube.
Flying Robots or Flying robots that kill brown people – Predator drones.
freedom feen = (with small Fs), either fans of the Freedom Feens, or a word that replaces any of these words: agorist, anarchist, anarcho-capitalist, an-cap, libertarian (small l, not Libertarian Party member, that’s not us), voluntaryist.
Gear Porn = The Feens’ fascination with high-quality audio gear and techniques. Leads to the Feens’ great sound, as well as “Gear Acquisition Syndrome” or “GAS”, i.e. always being one piece of gear away from perfection.
Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption= Close friends of Neema and Michael, and/or people who’ve done free work to help spread the word of the Feens. Michael’s recurring joke is “The Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption is the list of people we’ll spare from the an-cap re-education camps when Neema and I are the libertarian dictators of the world in a few years.” Michael also says “You know, we had to one-up Adam Kokesh. ‘Anarchy president.’ Sheesh, that’s aiming so low.” As for the “floppy disc” part, Michael started keeping the list about 15 years ago. It’s now actually been transferred to The Golden Encrypted USB Thumb Drive of Redemption, but we kept the old name.
The Government – Any government. Michael and Neema complain a lot about The American Federal Government, and various state and local laws in America, but if they lived anywhere else, they’d be complaining just as much about government in that place. See “The State” and “Gub’mint.”
Government Guns = Guns used by the government to initiate aggression and oppress people, either by actually firing the guns to kill or maim, or simply by the threat of the guns’ potential use. All taxes and nanny laws are backed by government guns. This is as opposed to libertarians’ guns, which are only ever drawn or fired in self-defense. Michael and Neema considered calling their music project “Government Guns”, but finally decided to keep it “Neema V. & Right Arm of Wyoming.”
Guns and Weed = Michael and Neema’s libertarian documentary film, Guns and Weed: The Road to Freedom
Gub’mint = The government, any government.
Hassle Doctrine = Michael’s lighthearted phrase (a take-off on Castle Doctrine) for something he seriously believes that some of The Founding Fathers would have included in one form or another into the Bill of Rights if they had a crystal ball to see where their “Republic” would end up today, and where it’s headed from here. Hassle Doctrine would basically be something like “…and if any person violates the rights enumerated in this Bill of Rights, you get to shoot them.” This is based on the reasons for the American Revolution, and on Jefferson, Mason and Madison’s views of the Second Amendment. They believed that citizens should be armed to prevent another King George from coming along and tyrannizing people in this new nation they had risked their lives forming. Hassle Doctrine is also the name of a Freedom Feens episode, where the phrase was first introduced.
Heinous Unit Squad Stories = Law and Order SVU. Michael’s guilty pleasure. Also known as Statist Unit Squad Stories.
Horizontal Enforcement= The way that square, statist citizens help perpetuate the State and its nanny laws by their attitudes and words. Commonly seen on juries where people vote guilty and want the judge to “throw the book” at people who violate nanny laws. See Joan the Silencer for a great example of Horizontal Enforcement.
Horizontal Liberation = A phrase coined by Neema meaning the opposite of Horizontal Enforcement, i.e. the way that hip, liberty-loving people help educate others about the joys of freedom and the dangers of the State and its nanny laws by their attitudes and words. A good example would be Michael and Neema’s work in doing Freedom Feens, and in the way our listeners spread the word of Freedom Feens and its lessons to others. We at Freedom Feens love the phrase Horizontal Liberation, not only for its meaning but because it also sounds like it could mean “having sex.”
Incrementalism = A gradual reduction of freedoms or increase of freedoms, as opposed to sweeping overnight change. Read more about this concept at the Wikipedia entry for Boiling Frog.
Jessica = Neema’s wife.
Kitten Stompers = FedGoons. Based on the fact that during home raids, they sometimes accidentally (?) stomp family pets and intentionally shoot family dogs. Also said as a line from a song Neema and Michael wrote and recorded for the Guns and Weed film, “Fed goons are kitten stompin’/and their sh*t is poppin’, They’ll shoot your dog, man, with a pussy .223.”
Kofi = Afrikanus Kofi Akosah Adusei, Michael and Neema’s friend in Ghana, Africa who runs the libertarian education organization, Africa Youth Peace Call.
(if you must see the Krokidil pic, click here. You were warned.)
Krokodil and Tranny Hookers = Krokodil is a form of bathtub-heroin produced in Russia from over-the-counter pain pills. It contains a lot of dangerous chemicals in the final mixture. Injecting krokodil destroys the flesh of the user and makes their skin rot off, looking like the skin of a crocodile in the process. Tranny Hookers are transvestite prostitutes or transexual prostitutes. Michael and Neema think tranny hookers and krokodil should be legal. But as macho libertarian flash, Michael and Neema often joke about actually partying with tranny hookers while using krokidil. While Michael did some things sort of like that back in his rock star days with the band Bomb, Michael no longer does and Neema never did. But they still like talking about it. And in a real LibPar, people wouldn’t have to make dangerous heroin substitutes in a bathtub from toxic chemicals. Because pure, clean, pharmaceutical-grade heroin would be available in bulk at WalMart, (“….though probably in a different aisle than the sugar to avoid problems.”) For radio, the Feens say Krokodil and Tranny Hookers as “crocodiles and transmissions.”
Liberty Mission = Ben Stone came up with this as an alternative to saying “The Liberty Movement”, because “The Liberty Movement” has become co-opted, diluted and amorphous. Michael and Neema say “We take a liberty movement in the morning so we have time and space to work on the Liberty Mission. Saying “The Liberty Mission” shows how Ben, Neema and Michael (and others) are devoted to spreading information about the non-aggression principle 24/7, every waking moment for the rest of their lives. Repeat until droned.
libertarian = The opposite of an authoritarian. A person who thinks people should be able to do whatever they want, as long as it doesn’t initiate aggression on anyone else. Michael and Neema are libertarians. They are “small-L libertarians”, i.e. not members of the Libertarian Party.
libertarian Rock Star = Michael’s term for famous libertarians…Lew Rockwell, Stefan Molyneux, Ian Freeman… i.e. A-listers of media production in the Liberty Movement. Michael and Neema are not (yet) libertarian Rock Stars, they are more like a libertarian garage band with a good following.
LibPar (pronounced “lib pair”) = Michael’s term for “Libertarian Paradise”, i.e. how Michael and Neema wish the world was, and hope it will be one day.
Lincoln Licker = Any Republican, or, anyone who thinks that American President Abraham Lincoln was almost a deity, and ignores the fact that he violated the Constitution, suspended habeas corpus, declared martial law, enacted a sort of “Patriot Act”, and went to war with Americans and Native Americans. Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck are Lincoln Lickers.
Macho Libertarian Flash = A 1970s Libertarian Party term (coined by Michael Cloud, originally as Libertarian Macho Flash, but MWD likes it better as Macho Libertarian Flash). A term describing the concept of taking the most extreme position a libertarian can take. e.g, instead of saying “pot should be decriminalized and anyone in any state who can pass a background check should be able to get a concealed carry permit”, the macho libertarian flasher says “five-year-old kids should be able to buy heroin and automatic weapons in vending machines as long as the vending machines are privately owned and operated.” In the original 1970s Libertarian Party concept of the term, “Macho Libertarian Flash” was derogatory, something to be avoided because it would scare people away from libertarian politics. But the Freedom Feens don’t believe in politics, and they generally do believe that the Macho Libertarian Flash answer on any issue is the correct answer, and not just for appearances.
Adam Kokesh is the king of Macho Libertarian Flash. He’s the anarchy pin-up boy. The world needs one of those.
A lot of academic libertarians say Neema and I have too much Macho Libertarian Flash, that it’s bad for “the movement.” pfffffft. And Adam is so macho libertarian flashy that he makes the Feens look like old squares.
MamaLiberty = Michael’s friend Susan Callaway in Wyoming who is his “adopted liberty grandma.” She was a big influence on Michael and DJ moving to Wyoming, and is in the movie Guns and Weed.
The Market = The Feens’ saying for what is commonly called “The Free Market.” Neema was inspired by Franz Oppenheimer and Ben Stone to call what’s usually called “The Free Market” simply “The Market”, because “The Free Market” is A, redundant, and B, often used for things that are NOT a free market. (Like when pro-War on Drugs Republicans or pro-any nanny law Democrats talk about being “pro-free market”).
Mexican Carry = Carrying a pistol without a holster, sticking out of your pants. The term is not a reference to any living Mexicans, but rather an old term for the manner of gun carry used by Mexican cowboy Vaqueros in 1800s. Neema does Mexican Carry sometimes.
(Must be of legal age to click for image for Minarchist)
Minarchist = Someone who is almost an anarchist but would consider a tiny amount of government, probably to only cover interstate highways and a defensive-only military. Before Michael had his epiphany that drove him to full-on anarchist (discussed in this episode), he used to say “I’m a minarchist before I have my coffee, and an anarchist after a few cups of coffee.”
Mosin = A Mosin Nagant rifle, Russian surplus bolt-action five-shot battle rifle with a bayonet, used in WWI and WWII, still used today in some countries. Michael and Neema have ’em and love ’em. Neema uses one at the beginning of Guns and Weed to shoot a dinner plate at 380 yards with no optics.
Nanny Law = Any law that doesn’t protect anyone from anything, and only oppresses people. Examples include: drug laws, anti-gay marriage laws, gun magazine round limits, seat belt and helmet laws, raw milk confiscations, the Gibson guitar confiscations, and overt regulation of any kind.
Neema V. = Neema’s hip-hop stage name.
Neo-Con = Neo-Conservative. A Republican who claims to be for small government, but wants to increase the size of the government for the things he thinks need it. Also the Republican citizens who support such candidates and believe their bull plop. A Neo-Con is basically a Democrat who hates pot and gay marriage and loves killing brown people. See also: Christian Sharian, Ranchislator, Republitron, Square, Statist.
No Homo = Very outdated hip-hop term Michael and Neema use as a joke. Used after you say something that could be construed as gay (like “I love you, my brother”) to indicate that it is not a gay statement. Michael and Neema have no problem with th’ gays, but are straight.
Non-Aggression Principle or NAP (also called “Zero-Aggression Principle” or ZAP) = The basis of libertarianism, voluntaryism and true anarchism, and the only ethical way to live. Living by the non-aggression principle means you live your life in a way that does not coerce, steal from or harm anyone. Many people participate in coercion, even if not by their own hand, but by voting for “representatives” and cops to do it for them, and perpetuating that system through horizontal enforcement. Self-defense, even including violence, to stop someone from initiating aggression on you or others, is not a violation of the Non-Aggression Principle.
Obama Humper or Obama Licker = Any Democrat, or exactly the same as a Lincoln Licker, but about Obama….Including the fact that Obama has violated the Constitution, suspended habeas corpus, declared martial law, laughed at the fact that he’s broken campaign promises, renewed the Patriot Act, suspended the Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth and Tenth Amendments; has gone to war on brown people in the Middle East, bypassed Congress to do so; and has branded non-violent Americans a threat. Obama has also gone far further than any American president, by openly and proudly killing an American citizen without a trial, using a flying robot.
Open Carry = Openly carrying a pistol on your hip in a holster in plain view. Legal in many states, including Wyoming, though people are still hassled for it in some places (but not Wyoming). Michael used to open carry a lot, Neema open carried while he lived in Wyoming. Both of them usually carry concealed now, but Michael still openly carries once in a blue moon, just to remind himself that he can.
Panarchist = Someone who believes everyone should be free to voluntary pick or reject any amount of “government” “services”, and only pay for the services they use. Panarchy also emphasizes removing geographical location from these choices. Michael and Neema are panarchists.
Parrot Phrasing = Michael’s term for a particular type of paraphrasing, the kind that gets you ahead in public school, some jobs, politics and the UN. It’s where you take the stupid concepts of your authority figure, then say the same thing more eloquently in your own words. Authority figures think you’re brilliant, and you advance in your particular system.
Paul Bonneau = An anarchist writer in Wyoming. He was an influence on Michael and Neema, and he is Michael’s friend.
Peanut, Fuzzy and Charlie = Michael and DJ’s kitties. Charlie is a curmudgeonly old lady tortie cat, and Michael has had her since she was three years old, in 2001. Peanut and Fuzzy are much younger, inseparable fluffy Maine Coon-mix brothers, and are homosexual.
Pee Pee Kitty = Going to the bathroom to pee while doing a live show. Comes from the French term for American coffee, “Pee Pee Kitty”, which means “cat pee.” A variation on our phrase “pee pee kitty” is “pod pee”, which is where Neema or Michael pee in a glass or beer bottle while casting so they don’t have to leave the conversation. The Feens also use the phrase “Walther Pee Pee Kitty” for the James Bond/Sterling Archer personal carry sidearm, the seven-shot .380 ACP Walther PPK to make fun of the fact that such “manly men” carry such tiny peashooter mouse guns for protection, and to make fun of tiny guns in general. Though the Feens also know that any gun is better than no gun, and anywhere that ultra-concealment is an issue for one reason or another, the PPK would be a fine carry pistol.
People Who Are Experts In Things That Are Wrong = Michael’s term for all non-Austria school economists, all gun grabbers, voters, and other sheep who think they know what they’re talking about. It is better to have a grade school understanding in things that are right than to have a PhD in things that are wrong.
Pod Beef = A public argument between one podcaster (or liberty media personality in any media) and another podcaster (or liberty media personality in any media). Derived from the hip-hop term “Rap Beef.”
Post-Podum Depression = The mild emotional letdown Michael sometimes experiences the day after recording, editing, releasing and promoting a particularly tasty episode.
PROPERganda = Using the tools of propaganda, but for disseminating that which is proper, i.e. telling the truth.
POOPLICATED = Democrats and Republicans when they become so like each other that you can’t tell the difference. From graffiti Neema saw in Austin that said “Santa cannot be duplicated”, and someone else had changed “duplicated” into “pooplicated” (photo HERE.) We just liked the word and invented a meaning for it.
Ranchislator = Government legislator who is also a rancher. Describes most of the Wyoming State politicians. Coined by the late John Jolley.
Red Star Tribune – a.k.a. “The Prairie Pravda.” The daily statist Wyoming newspaper, The Casper Tribune. Called “Red” because it leans socialist. Not many people read it, but it often goes into every mailbox in the state for free, whether you want it or not. The Feens also use the phrase “The Prairie Pravda” for The Casper Journal, a weekly paper that shows up in your mailbox in Wyoming whether you want it or not. It’s right-wing, whereas The Casper Tribune is left-wing, but they’re each so damn statist propagandist that we interchangeably call them both “The Prairie Pravda.”
Republitron = Any robotic, lying, statist, flip-flopping Christian Sharia Republican, as opposed to the few Republicans who are true Constitutionalists. Also the Republican citizens who support Republitron candidates and believe their bull plop. Most Republican candidates and politicians are Republitrons, except Ron Paul, Rand Paul, Gary Johnson and a very few others at lower levels of government.
Prepper = One who stores up food, water, ammunition and emergency supplies in case of the collapse of the economy, the initiation of martial law, or simply to make it through a natural disaster without government “help.” Michael and Neema are preppers, but not to the extent that some people are.
Right Arm of Wyoming = Michael’s one-man punk rock music project. The name does not mean “right wing” (Michael and Neema are no-wing). It is a reference to the FN FAL rifle, commonly called the “Right Arm of the Free World”, because it is the main battle rifle used by every non-communist nation except the USA. (USA uses AR-platform rifles, in the much smaller “pussy .223” caliber.)
Roads Scholar = A statist who says “But who would build the roads??!??” as their first line of “defense” whenever anyone mentions reducing the size of, or eliminating, the government. Taken from the phrase Rhodes Scholar, but used as an ironic insult.
Sidearm = A pistol carried in a holster for self-defense, whether it’s carried concealed or open carry.
Statist = Person who worships The State (the government, any government) and/or the idea of government…People who, out of ignorance or bitterness or fear or not knowing better, support The State and its violence. All Democrats AND Republicans are statists. Even Ron Paul. But as Sovereign Curtis once said, “I’m a big fan of Ron Paul. I tell people he’s my favorite government thug. But he’s still a government thug.”
State-baiting = The use of straw-man arguments to justify continued existence of the State. Common examples are, “Who would build the roads?”, “Only the government can do that” and “Without the government, grandma would starve and there would be roaming bands of violent thugs.” Here’s an excellent guide to recognizing state-baiting in all its forms:
State-o-vision or Statistscope = Television. So called because TV generally pushes the statist agenda, whether it’s left, right or neither.
Square = Michael and Neema’s new use for this common term is limited to people and policies that are statist. Often said as “That is so square, man.”
T-1000 splashing in the molten steel at the end of Terminator: 2 = Neema’s analogy for how government does even more crazy and oppressive stuff to its “subjects” as more and more of those subjects wake up and realize the immorality and utter uselessness of government.
Tax Eater = Someone who takes more money from the government than they pay in taxes. Currently 51% of all Americans. Tend to vote Democrat, but also include many Republicans. The opposite of a Producer. Also described by John Stossel as “taker” (tax eater) as opposed to “maker” (producer.) A producer is someone who creates wealth and/or jobs and has to pay a lot in taxes. Tax Eaters don’t just include traditional welfare recipients but include anyone who makes their living off of the backs of taxpayers like corporations and farmers who receive subsidies; cops, generals, and even the president. Also called “Rent Seekers.”
Tube-Based Economy = A geographic location where people largely work with their hands for a living (like Wyoming) as opposed to a place where the economy is more information based (like San Francisco). Term comes from Michael’s observation that a lot of trucks you see on the roads in Wyoming are carrying some sort of tubes, for oil industry, water wells, windmill supports, electrical conduit, and similar uses. Also a joke on the phrase “a series of tubes” to describe the Internet. Also called “The Tube-Industrial Complex.” Also a reference to the fact that Neema and Michael use (electron) tube-powered pre-amps to do the cast.
Theorist = A libertarian who does not own guns (or has not in some other way voluntarily contracted to provide for the protection of his own rights). “Social contract” services like government police do not count. They are not voluntary and their terms and funding are based on violent aggression.
The State = The government, any government.
Tyranny Today = A recurring segment where Michael and Neema talk about tyrannical things in the news, i.e. people and laws that attack freedom. Opposite of a Freedom Fix.
Yukon = Neema’s one-eyed dog. He’s a small Malamute that many people mistake for a Huskie.
Voluntaryist = A person who practices voluntaryism, i.e. one who believes in only having interactions that are voluntary. Closely related to anarchist and libertarian, though some libertarians still vote, and a voluntaryist does not, as it is participating in a non-voluntary system (politics).
The War on Birds = Michael’s analogy for how feeding animals in your yard while trying to keep other animals from eating the food is like America’s welfare state and foreign policy.
War on Guns = Actions by skunk-like gun-grabbing politicians in governments at the federal, state and local levels to keep honest people from being armed, either in one fell swoop, or incrementally. Also includes horizontal enforcement of these policies by citizens who parrot the lies of the gun grabber politicians. The War on Guns is also a great pro-gun blog by David Codrea.
“Well, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!” = Michael and Neema’s phrase, figuratively and literally, to use on statists who defend the state like they’re defending they’re mother. People like that are beyond help, AND they want to see us dead or in prison. Based on what Michael saw a friend say loudly at the speaker of an AA meeting decades ago in San Francisco, when the speaker was disrespecting Michael’s friend from the podium. Michael’s friend flipped off the speaker and walked out of the room loudly saying “Well, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!”
“We’re from the government and we’re here to help you.” = Running joke in the podcast and in the Guns and Weed movie. Taken from something Ronald Reagan said, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.'” Michael and Neema don’t like Reagan, and find it ironic that he, who greatly increased the powers of the Federal Government (particularly the War on Drugs and the War on Guns) came up with this phrase. But Michael and Neema like to insert it into the mouths of their image of any kitten stompin’ FedGoon Flea while he’s performing his “protection duties.”
Windowless Bunker = Where Michael claims to broadcast from. Is usually said to be either “in an undisclosed location”, “in Beastlick Wyoming, or “Near Alpha Centauri.”
Worms= Word, i.e. “I agree” or “you speak the truth, brother.” “Worms” was coined by Dave Immerglück (currently in the band Counting Crows), a guitar player who played in Michael’s old band Slish. It’s making fun of the dated hip-hop slang of saying “word.”
It’s also our Warrant Canary, that is, if we ever start saying it (and say “word” instead), we’ve been contacted by the government but can’t mention it.
What would WORMS stand for?: Weapons Of Rehabilitating Misinformed Statists, Whistling Orthopedic Rubbery Medical System , World Orthodox Reform Ministry Services (for that cult vibe), Wyoming Original Radio Militia Society, Wyoming Organized Reasonable Michael System, War On Regularity Monetary System, World Orthodox Reform Monetary System, War On Rational Monetary Systems, Wicked Otherworldly Random Moth Swarms, Worried Old Ranting Minarchist Shelter.
Worm Wrangler = People on the Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption who do more than just donate, i.e. those who actually do free WORK for the Feens, to help spread the Feens thought throughout the world. Taken from a made-up film credit that Michael’s friend Danny Plotnick put on one of his early super-8 movies in the 80s, when he funded a film by selling credits in the film.